emotions

I've always had a hard time controlling my emotions. I can get super weepy over just about anything sentimental.

So, Abbott's turning one this week. I remember when Laurelei turned one. We were so excited! Every milestone she hit seemed more exciting and fun than the last. We planned the party, baked the cake, and laughed the night away. 

It's different this time. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm still very excited to watch Abbott grow and change. It's just that this time, I feel more overwhelmed with gratitude and responsibility that I think I felt with Laurelei. Chalk it up to being so young, or a lack of understanding, but I really don't think I got it back then.

At some point over the past year and a half, I have grown to understand how much has been entrusted to my care. There were so many days through my pregnancy with Abbott that I just lied there, crying over the possibilities and praying fervently that God would keep Abbott safe. I think I thought that if he did, the hardest days would be behind us. I feel blessed beyond measure that he brought him here safely, but I'm beginning to realize that the hardest years are ahead!

Laurelei's three short years have passed in the blink of an eye. I feel like I turned around and Abbott is almost one. There are so many things we have left to experience as a family. So many things the kids have to go through and learn. And along the way, Matt and I have to guide them along in the right way. I'm reminded of the thought, "to whom much has been entrusted, much will be expected." Am I enough of a mother for that? I don't know. 

I cannot wait to spend these childhood with my children. To laugh and cuddle and play, and surely try and fail many times along the way! I feel so grateful and blessed to have them in my life. I've truly been given two precious miracles in my lifetime.