Slow down sissy...

I'm sure I've mentioned before that Laurelei is pretty much five going on fifteen, but it's never been more apparent to us than lately. Where do I even begin?

Perhaps I'll start with the scary part of her growing up, boys. Ah, preschool love. Matt and Laurelei had a detailed conversation on the way home from school about it the other day, and they were both excited to fill me in on the details over dinner. From what I gathered I imagine the initial conversation went something like this...

"How was school today?"

"Good. I need to pick a boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"There are three boys at school who love me and want to be my boyfriend. I have to pick one to be my boyfriend."

(Stunned silence, a few stifled giggles...yes I'm sure it was giggles)

"I think I'm going to pick soandso. He loves me so much."

"How do you know soandso loves you so much?"

"He tells me I'm beautiful. He thinks I'm really pretty."

Don't worry. As any good mom would do I squashed the whole idea of preschool love real quick.  I was sure to tell her that only big people get to have boyfriends and girlfriends, so she would just have to pretend until she was of a more appropriate age, like 20.

To my surprise her preschool whims have come with a fair amount of wisdom. The other day I was making my very first fabric doll and getting incredibly frustrated. I may have mentioned to Matt that I was about to quit-and-throw-my-sewing-machine-out-the-window and L overheard me. As she scooted up the table she shared her five year old words of encouragement with me.

"Don't quit mommy. You can do it. You can change your story"

"What do you mean?"

"You know mommy, like in Super Why? The duck wanted to swim but he couldn't so he quit. Then Super Why came and changed duck's story and made him not scared and he learned to swim. You can do that too mommy. You can change you story."

I kid you not. I felt about two feet tall. I had been told. By my five year old. I'd like to thank Super Why and the PBS community for teaching my child more important lessons that she has apparently learned from her parents example at home. 

How do they grow so fast? You turn around and your tiny five pound baby is five years old. She is beautiful and smart and ready for the whole wide world. And you pretty much know you had nothing to do with her growing older and you just want to tell her to slow down.

Dear Abbott on my lap...

You probably won't remember this, but we are sitting here on the beach, and you are asleep on my lap. For a long time I sat just memorizing everything about you at this very moment. The way your hair smells of a mixture of baby shampoo, sunscreen, and salt water. All of the little scars on your face, the way you are wearing your favorite hat. How you sat up wide awake from a dead sleep just to retrieve your bucket, worried you were missing out on play time, only to grab the bucket tight and fall immediately back to sleep. 

This vacation has been close to perfect. You and your sister are having so much fun! And while I've loved every second of it,  I can't help but admit that it is a little terrifying too. 

Have you ever heard that sappy country song, 'You're gonna miss this?' Well I have, and I'm terrified that its true. These times are so sweet and precious. Your chubby little cheeks and sandy feet. The way you run around in circles until your dizzy and then fall down on the floor, the result of which was most of your scars. If I could just freeze you and Laurelei right where you are, raising the eternal toddler forever I would do it.

But I can't, and I'm left here holding your realizing that you will grow and explore and have a family of your own someday. You'll hold your own children and watch them grow, just like I am holding you. I guess all I can do is soak up every moment of this sleeping baby you are right now. Take lots of pictures and write down lots of memories. All the while, praying you become a wonderful man, just like your daddy. And somehow, hoping we figure out how to do this whole parenting thing right along the way.

Love you to the moon and back little one.

Xo,

Mommy

 

Happy Birthday Abbott

It is hard to believe that one year ago you were born.

I used to think it would be impossible to love someone as much and in the same way as I love your sister Laurelei. I couldn't possibly split my heart in two that way.

Then you were born. I realized that I didn't have to split my heart in two, it just doubled in size.

I knew from the moment you started kicking in my belly that we would have something special. We went through a lot together, and I always knew you'd be my baby boy.

Today you turn one. You are growing up and becoming more and more of a little boy each day. Those round baby feet and short chubby legs are disappearing.

You've graduated from that cute little 'pirate smile.'

You're 13lbs heavier and so much more mobile.

But still, you are perfect.
You are mine.
You are our sweet little Abby Rabbit.

And we wish you the happiest birthday a boy can have.

All my love,
Mommy

3 going on 30...

As if our kiddos aren't growing up fast enough, these past couple of weeks L and I have had conversations about how she thinks she is ready to grow up. I think it all started when I was eating bubble gum in the car. Apparently, bubble gum is really, really cool. We obviously don't let Laurelei have gum yet, since she would just swallow it immediately anyway, but she really wants to try it.

So, as we were driving down the street Laurelei decided there were lot's of reasons why she wished she was an adult. And, I quote, "When I am bigger, I can shop, paint my own nails, and chew gum." It gave me some important insight as to how L thinks I spend my time! We pulled up outside of Kroger the other day so that I could run in and pick something up while Matt sat in the car with the kids. Laurelei piped up from the back seat, "It's okay mommy, I can just run in. You can sit in the car." Aye, aye, aye! How old does she think she is?

The next time it came up L was filling me in about how she really needed 'boobies.' When she says that, what she really means is a bra. Either way, I disagree! I immediately began an important line of questioning as to why she thought she might 'need' such a thing. After following a 3 year old train of thought I figured out where this was coming from. The conversation went something like this:

L: "I'm a girl, right?"
Me: "Of course your a girl, and daddy's a boy, and Abbott's a boy..."
L: "And you're a girl?"
Me: "Yep."
L: "And you have boobies?"
Me: "WHAT?"
L: "And daddy doesn't?"
Me: "...?"
L:"And daddy's not a girl?"
Me: "...?"
L: "I'm a girl and don't have 'em, and I don't want to be a boy like daddy, so I need my own boobies now, okay mommy? You need to tell daddy to take me to the store and buy me some, okay mommy? Then I can be big and be a girl. Will you tell daddy, okay?"
Me: "Maybe you should tell daddy yourself. I'd like to see what he says when you ask him."

We all knew this conversation would happen eventually, but it still took me a little by surprise!

And finally, the most heart wrenching of all the recent obsessions L has with getting older, was the conversation we had about her getting married. Turns out, shes ready. She thinks she'd look pretty in a big dress. Her wedding dress will be pink of course. And, she would like lots of cupcakes. That only she can eat. Because it's her wedding, so she can tell everyone not to eat her cupcakes. Currently, she is planning to marry herself. She will need to move into her own house though. Apparently ours is too small for all of her 'stuffs' and her baby. She's planning on taking Abby to be her baby at her new house, unless she can 'find' a girl baby first. Hilarious.

Even if all of these conversations are kind of funny through the lens of a three year old, I am still not ready for ANY of these things to happen. She is growing up way to fast.

{linking to lowercase letters}

 

A stroll down memory lane...

This is the first of probably many very random blog posts, but seeing as how I am pretty much confined to my bed today (and what it seems may be a million more days for the rest of forever...) I thought I would link up to Baby Berry's 'the proposal' link party. Now I get to spend my long afternoon reading sweet love stories and thinking about the past, ahh....

 

Anyway, what makes our story special is that it is, well, ours! Matt and I have been together for 9 years now. Yes, we are high school sweethearts. I met him in 8th grade and we instantly became great friends. It's like something out of a movie when I think about it really. I remember at one point in our sophomore year of high school when I was 'playing hard to get' Matt told me he was going to marry me someday. I like to think about that when I know I am being particularly obnoxious. I mean, I can't be more obnoxious now even on my worst days than I was when I was in high school, and if he knew he wanted to marry me then...? :)

So, onto the story. It was December 4th, 2005 and I was a junior in college. (I know, a baby, right?) I remember having the distinct feeling that something was different about that night when I was getting ready even though I wasn't expecting a proposal quite so soon. I took a little extra time selecting my outfit and fixing my hair. I was nervous when he came to pick me up. We went to dinner at a 'new-to-the-area' restaurant. Somewhere between courses I remember knowing it was all about to go down. Matt started getting all sentimental (that is so my department usually) and talking about the years we had spent together and the future he wanted for us. It all happened very quickly. He gave me the most gorgeous ring he had designed himself with a jeweler in our hometown. It was all so perfect.

 

And it only got better from there. After dinner we went up to a place in Cincinnati called Mt. Adams and got ice-cream and walked around looking at the Christmas trees that had just been put out. One of the best things about our small college experience was that we had the most incredible group of friends there. Little did I know Matt had spent a good amount of time with one of his very best friends planning a surprise get together. He made a DVD of our years together to the tune of a great little song called "Marry Me" and all of our best friends were there to watch it and celebrate our engagement together. It was exactly what every girl wants, all of her best friends around to gush over the engagement and ring and details. We got to relive the story immediately and it was great! 

 

It was all so perfect. Like I said, the best part is that it's our story. Here we are 4+ years into marriage and we have already lived in another country, had a beautiful daughter and are about to bring another little baby into the world. It'd crazy to think that this same guy who pledged his love for me when he was 16, stood by me through so many ups and downs, held my hand in really crappy times, got caught by the police with me, married me, took me on the adventure of a lifetime to a foreign country, and made me a mother still loves me after all these years of knowing me.   I know I have said it before, but Matt really is just perfect in so many ways.

Before I forget...

Before I forget I wanted to jot down a couple of memories L and I made today. What is blogging if not a life journal of sorts, right?

Being off bed rest today made me feel brave! After sitting through trainings at work all day, I rushed to the sitters to pick up Laurelei earlier than I usually do. She was still down for a nap, but I figured that waking her up with the promise of ice cream would be just fine, and I was right. She was quite happy to oblige my craving for Orange Leaf! The prospect of her pink and chocolate ice-cream made her extra happy and chatty in the car, and we had one of the first real conversations we've had in a while. (Two year old conversations are just the best, aren't they?) It started out being all random questions from one of us to the other. I asked about her day and she asked about mine. Then she wanted to know who my little brother was and if I was a big sister. This lead into her favorite conversation these days about how she is going to be a big sister because she is a big girl. The conversation took an unexpected turn in this direction:

L: "Mommy, I need you to buy me a car."
Me: "I don't think you are big enough to drive a car yet, are you?"
L: "Yeah, I need a car. I a big girl now, I should drive myself."
Me: "I think that we will have to wait awhile for that. Let's just decide what kind of ice cream we should get for now, ok?"
L: "Ok, I'll ask my daddy."

It made me wonder if we've taught her a bad habit? Namely, that if one of us says 'no' she should just go ask the other person and her wish just might be granted. Or maybe it's that we've talked so much about her being a big girl that she holds herself to very few limits now. We should work on both of those!

Anyway, we went and got ice cream and it was wonderful. The conversation continued and L was just so thoughtful, excited, sweet the entire time. No sign of the terrible two's anywhere around! At least not tonight.

When we finished our ice cream Laurelei helped me with the grocery shopping. We went to the 'big' Kroger so that she could have her very own cart. We don't do that very often, so she was VERY excited about it. She waved hello to everyone we saw. After they passed us she would always say, "that's my friend." This is something new she picked up that I just love. She refers to everyone as her friend. She loves people, and it is so sweet!

 

Let me tell you, if you see this girl coming with a cart, you might want to make room. Her steering isn't, let's say, proficient at the moment.

We had such a great afternoon. I am really excited about having a little more freedom to take L out on some special mommy/ daughter dates, it is such a blessing investing time into her!

the 'band-aid days...'

I am thankful for the 'band-aid days.'

I can't quite put my finger on when it started, but at some point this summer L started accessorizing herself with band aids daily. I've mentioned this before, but it's just become such a staple part of our day that I wanted to record this sweet memory (especially before we have spent hundreds of dollars on princess band-aids and I begin to lose my sense of humor about the whole thing!)

It started small, just the occasional band-aid on the bumped knee. Can you spot the simple days?

 

One boo boo turned into two...

 

Two boo boo's turned into seven...

And, well, it seems it was all down hill from there. Matt and I go back and forth on whether or not this is a healthy habit. Like anything else that a parent would find wasteful or highly unnecessary, I think our first instinct was to devise a plan to break the 'band aid habit.' 

 

Lately though I have shifted my thinking on the issue. The other day my mom made a comment about how she's happy to indulge the $2.50 habit when L is at her house because, "Before long, the band-aid days will be gone." 

Isn't that the truth? To think that L's band-aid days are numbered really puts things in perspective. She is already 2 and 1/2 years old. The time is flying by. Staring down the tunnel of our last pregnancy really makes me think about how all of our 'band-aid days' are numbered in this household.  I can't quite go on looking at every childhood whim she has this way, that I know wouldn't be healthy for any of us as it would probably just result in making me a puddle of tears. That's reality though, isn't it? Before long L, and then Abbott too, will grow out of these silly habits and we'll probably wish it was that easy, to just pull out our hidden band-aid stash to make them smile.

I think I will just be happy to have L exactly the way she is in this stage of life, a feisty little toddler with a band-aid problem. No more wishing away childhood desires in this house.

I'll have to remind Matt too that while we've added 'two boxes of princess band-aids' to our grocery list each week, it's a lot cheaper of an obsession than, let's say shoes, right? I am sure that will put things in perspective for him, as it really is one of the most cost effective desires we have in this household!

linking to...

 

{Thankful Thursday at Blissfully Burton}

Maybe you've noticed?

Bed rest has given me ample time to do many things I never spent too much time on, and also taken away some luxuries I took for granted too. I blog a lot, writing stuff on here as a sort of therapy and staying way ahead of my posts over on our cooperative blog Lemon Tree Creations, I take more pictures and have more time to learn to actually edit, I've read 3 whole books.

On the flip side, I realize some of the things I look forward to every year that I've taken for granted. I miss this productive time of the year in my classroom. (That's right, I said it, I miss the going back to school part of school. It's like they say in You've Got Mail, my favorite movie, "Don't you just love New York in the fall? Makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew you name and address..." The idea of that is like a fairy tale! (I write this a tad smaller because maybe its more of a confession that I should be making as we teachers lament the closing of those glorious summer days!?))

I've missed wasting my days away with L. Swimming, chasing her around the house, cuddling with her in our pj's all day long, pure mommy and me time. Summers and long breaks from school have always been the times when I get to steal her back from Matt for awhile. The perpetual 'daddy's girl' becomes mommy's just long enough. Hmm, we'll have to work on that!

This past week I discovered something that might link L and I together in some cosmic way though, no matter how much time we spend together or apart. Anybody who knew me in high school, or knew me really WELL I should say, might know something or other about the unicorn suit. L found it in an old bin this week and was immediately mesmerized. You can tell from the pictures that she is trying to figure out what in the world she was putting on her head, but we are pretty confident this little unicorn tale might live on into a second generation.

 

 You think about what you want to pass down to your kids, all of the good and noble things about you. In all of your thoughts of their great futures and hopes and dreams you kind of lose sight of the fact that maybe they will 'inherit some of your crazy too.' I'm okay with that. If L spends half the amount of time laughing with her family and closest friends over her days with the unicorn suit she'll be better for it I am sure.

Maybe you've noticed I have some extra time on my hands, leaving me prone to such confessionals?

Catching Fireflies

I am convinced that one of the great joys of having small children is letting them in on the little mysteries of life like fireflies. Up until tonight Laurelei barely new these fun little bugs existed.  For a couple of nights now Matt and I have been sitting on our couch, looking out the window and admiring them in our yard. I have such vivid memories of when I was a child, spending cool summer nights catching the magical little bugs and collecting them in jars. We would always race to see who could fill up their jars the fastest, hoping to have the best 'light show' when we opened the lids to set them free. So many good memories.

I saved up all the energy I could today just to share in these 15 minutes of memories with Matt and L 'firefly hunting,' and it was well worth it!

When we gave L the jar I don't quite think she knew what was going on, but she caught on quickly and got very, very excited about the adventure that ensued. 

She quickly followed daddy around the yard shouting, "I want one, I want one!" whenever he would catch one. In the beginning daddy lamented how catching fireflies seemed a lot easier when he was a kid.

Every time she got her hands on one her face would light up. Her little smiles are priceless!

She would run back to whoever was holding the jar at the time exclaming "I got another one, I got another one!!"

 When we all decided it was getting late and probably time for the fireflies to go nigh-night, Laurelei came and sat on my lap where I was camped out on the front walk. We watched the fireflies go and said good night to each of them, one-by-one.

It was the perfect 15 minutes of memory making.  

We came inside, kissed Laurelei goodnight and tucked her into bed. 

Then I began counting my many, many blessings, one-by-one.