Dear Abbott on my lap...

You probably won't remember this, but we are sitting here on the beach, and you are asleep on my lap. For a long time I sat just memorizing everything about you at this very moment. The way your hair smells of a mixture of baby shampoo, sunscreen, and salt water. All of the little scars on your face, the way you are wearing your favorite hat. How you sat up wide awake from a dead sleep just to retrieve your bucket, worried you were missing out on play time, only to grab the bucket tight and fall immediately back to sleep. 

This vacation has been close to perfect. You and your sister are having so much fun! And while I've loved every second of it,  I can't help but admit that it is a little terrifying too. 

Have you ever heard that sappy country song, 'You're gonna miss this?' Well I have, and I'm terrified that its true. These times are so sweet and precious. Your chubby little cheeks and sandy feet. The way you run around in circles until your dizzy and then fall down on the floor, the result of which was most of your scars. If I could just freeze you and Laurelei right where you are, raising the eternal toddler forever I would do it.

But I can't, and I'm left here holding your realizing that you will grow and explore and have a family of your own someday. You'll hold your own children and watch them grow, just like I am holding you. I guess all I can do is soak up every moment of this sleeping baby you are right now. Take lots of pictures and write down lots of memories. All the while, praying you become a wonderful man, just like your daddy. And somehow, hoping we figure out how to do this whole parenting thing right along the way.

Love you to the moon and back little one.

Xo,

Mommy