a gaggle

There are lot's of things I want. Naturally, I can't have them all. I can't have the totally gorgeous clothes I saw in my latest JCrew catalog, as I am sure I could find something more important to spend $165 on. I'm certainly not going to get the cloud pillows I wanted from Etsy since the seller went AWOL after our order. Seems though I definitely won't get to sleep in past 8:00 anytime soon, and no where in my future do I see an eternal summer where the skies are clear and breezy at a comfy 70 degrees. Hmph.

Lately though, the one thing I've really been wanting are more babies. I know, shocking right? I mean, I just had a new one what, 8 months ago? Before and for awhile after Laurelei was born I wasn't sure I would want anymore children. I thought having just the one was so special. When I was pregnant with Abbott I was worried that two kids couldn't fit into our house, that despite the fact that we planned for him I still wouldn't be ready or able to handle two whole kids. I wasn't sure before about what I wanted for my family, but now I know. I want more babies. A whole gaggle of babies!

So, what does Matt think about my latest want? He thinks I'm crazy of course! L and Abby have made our lives incredibly happy. We've been blessed beyond measure. We have our hands full. We are on a thin budget. Not to mention the fact that after two difficult pregnancies there is some question as to whether or not I could really even have what I want. Don't worry, we aren't making any plans...yet. I just know what I want in my future. Whether the babies be ours or adopted, I want a big family! It will be many years down the road, when Laurelei and Abbott are in school. When our ducks are in a row and we are ready.

And whose to say I will ever get what I want. We've already established that life is funny that way. This thought has just been on my mind lately. I just had to get it down on paper. Someday I can look back at what came or what didn't and know that for a time, I was absolutely convinced that the only thing I wanted in the world was the double the happiness my babies have brought me. To do it all over again. To smell that yummy baby smell and hear those first soft cries. To carry on the most random conversations on the way home from school. That's what I want.