25% me, 75%...?

Change is good. I know that. In fact, I am quite certain that some smart and famous person probably once had a really eloquent quote about how growth is essential, but I obviously don't remember what it was. Lately I've been experiencing this same phenomenon over and over again. I'm in the middle of doing, or more often than not, not doing something and I stop and think; this is so not me.

For example, my house is a mess. I know I have said it before, but I mean, for real. IT IS A MESS. If you were the old me, you would walk into my house and have a panic attack. And what's more? I don't really care most of the time.

And then there is the fact that I haven't done anything resembling cuteness in a mighty long time. No projects, no baking, no crafting, nada. I broke the needle on my sewing machine, ummm, maybe 4 months ago now. It's still broken.

And I haven't thought about facebook after the initial withdrawal period. I have no clue what is going on in pretty much anyone else's life, and I'm okay with it. (I feel like I should add in that I do know what is going on in my friends and family's life, but let's just all go ahead and admit that isn't really who I probably kept tabs on on facebook, okay? :)

I used to be concerned daily about the way my clothes fit. I worked hard at hiding my problem areas well. (It took a great deal of time finding things that concealed properly, which probably is the reason for the eternal ponytail...) Lately though? I think I am starting to realize that my body change is inevitable. Having two babies, keeping up with said babies, and work, and enjoying life...It's just not left a lot of time for caring all that much about my weight, or appearance. I've struggled a lot with weight over the years and I think I just want to be happy with who I am.

At first when I started to think about how much I am changing I thought it was a bad thing. I chalked it up to being tired, or being lazy. How dare I let my house get this cluttered or not post a new project on any of the blogs? How could I not keep up appearances on facebook or know what is going on with so and so? Am I really going to give into being okay with with wearing this dress even though it showcases some undesirable pounds? But when I really start to think about it, I am happier. I am so much more fulfilled than I used to be. I am certainly a more positive person than I was a year ago. I think maybe all of this change has more to do with perspective than laziness?

 I think I have finally started to realize that a happy life is a whole lot more important that a whole lot of other things. Who knew?