"If my parenting had a super alter-ego, I'm afraid it'd be known as The Enabler..."
As I was cleaning up dinner tonight and listening to Matt duke it out with Laurelei at bedtime this thought crossed my mind. What's sad is, I'm not even very good at it. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't want to be good at 'enabling,' but you'd think if it was my alter-ego and all...
Here's the problem. One minute I'm accomodating L in anyway I possibly can just to avoid a conflict, and in the next I'm entirely frustrated with her for wanting something so ridiculous. My next move is to impose boundaries she's not used to, and then get frustrated with her because she doesn't follow the rules! I'm pretty sure she looks up at me with these big eyes thinking, "what? you let me do it yesterday?" And now we've finally reached the tantrum stage with her and are totally breaking down. She seemed so easy to parent up until now and I guess we've never really sat down and talked out our parenting styles. Unintentionally I think I have completely set Laurelei up for failure within 'the system', because really...what is 'the system'?
It's definitely time to go back to the drawing board as a team and come up with our next move. I'm definitely starting to see how parenting is way more than just a collection of spur of the moment. We have got to look at the whole picture and figure out what healthy place we want Laurelei to end up so that we can more efficiently guide her in the right direction. I feel a little silly now for giggling last week at church when the "family road-map" class was offered. (And don't think I don't hear you "I told you so-ing..." Matthew!)
I realize that this blog has become pretty much just a 'mommy diary' where I dish about little more than my family and all the little details, so I'm sorry for the soap box again today!
Oh no, good luck! Persevere!! You can do it!!
ReplyDeleteWe had the exact same problems when I first got home from the hospital bed rest. Jayce had been staying with different friends and had both grandmas in town at different times, with different rules more relaxed boundaries than we typically have. He wouldn't go to bed and was really disobedient. We just had to stick it out and eventually it got better.
It took probably 5 (long) nights of crying at bedtime, but eventually it lessened and he started going to sleep at a more normal time. He started behaving a bit more like himself maybe a week to 10 days after I got home. We figured that he was acting out because he was trying to keep his feet under him since all of the things that were normal for him had been shaken up. But once we established the new normal, (me on the couch, Chris at home, not shuffling J from one place to another) he calmed down.
It will be okay, she'll get there and so will you!!
Sorry for the novel. This is just all too familiar.
Also, i just noticed that you have 26 posts in 29 days! That is real dedication. :) The question is, will you try to do 5 more in the next 2 days so that you'll have a full month of blogging? Hmm, so tempting... :)
ReplyDeleteYou have a lot going on! I hope little L gets back to her routine soon for you all, too! And isn't a blog really just a diary?! I at least think it is with sometimes people peeking in on your moments. :)
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